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Oct, 08, 2016 By admin Comments
When is the right time to get married? Am I really ready to get married? How will I know? Maybe you have heard all the clichés about marriage, watched all the typical movies and read up about all the possible reasons to get married. Yet, none might have helped you with exactly what you want to know. Well, guess what? Nothing and no one can really help you with these questions. Wait, don’t get daunted by that thought yet. The point of the question is that it is about you and your partner. And as each couple shares a different equation, the best thing to do is to decide for yourself. Go beyond the superficial reasons of the society and to the questions that actually matter to both of you. We share a few questions that might help you get a fair insight:
  • Are you getting married because you can’t stay away from him anymore or because the concept of marriage simply sounds lovely to your ears?
  • Have you been feeling jealous recently when your friend or cousin got married first?
  • Has there been a lot of pressure on you from loved ones to get married? Make sure that you are thinking clearly through the fog of other people’s opinions.
  • Are both of you willing to adjust your career around each other, with the partner probably becoming your first priority?
  • Do your individual lifestyles match each other and allow some space for change after marriage?
  • Think back to your earlier fights and arguments. Did they ever get out of hand or reach an abusive level?
  • Are both of you mature enough to handle any conflicts without letting it ruin your relationship?
  • Are you able to understand one other and accept the way each one thinks, even if you don’t necessarily agree with it?
  • Has there been mutual love and respect throughout the months you have known each other?
  • Do you like each others’ families enough to live with them and maybe even learn to love them?
  • Do you both agree on if and when you should have kids, and how many?
  • Can you have a sane discussion regarding each other’s finances and how to handle them?
  • Do you tend to be honest with each other, no matter what is going on in your lives?
  • Have you been able to lower your expectations and make a few compromises along the way?
  • Most importantly, can you forgive each other and move on from anything?
The movie, ‘Love Punch’, raises a thought-provoking question that we often forget to ask ourselves. In the movie, the lead character of Emma Thompson, Kate, mentions that it is relatively easy to fall in love and then fall out of love. Beautiful relationships often end suddenly because the reason that made two people fall in love does not exist anymore. But if you like each other, really like each other, then that is good enough for you to spend a lifetime together! So the question for you is, ‘Do you really like each other?’
blog
Sep, 30, 2016 By admin Comments

Q: Is working after marriage a crime?

Working after marriage is often a debatable topic.

Ideal situation: The question is not if women should work after getting married or not. The question is whether she wants to. If she does not wish to work, she should not be forced to do so by her husband and her in-laws, in greed of a double income. Meanwhile, if she chooses to work, they should support her.

Real situation: While every family holds a different opinion about their daughter-in-law being in an office space, all families tend to put up the sole responsibility of the household on the woman’s shoulders. So whether she decides to work or not, the bottom line is that she is supposed to comply with the choices of other family members. ‘Put others first’ - as she is often taught since childhood.

However strong a woman might be, she often ends up ‘obeying’ the wishes of her new family. We share some ways in which women who choose to work after marriage are often treated as criminals:

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  1. Women must first bear children

A woman is ‘expected’ to bear children, especially a son, as her duty towards taking forward the family’s lineage. This means that there is often undue pressure on the woman to have children as soon as possible, even if that means giving up her job. And it does not matter whether she is ready to take the responsibility of a child or not.

  1. Women should manage the household effectively

A woman who is given the ‘permission’ to work is often done so only on the prior agreement that she will still be able to manage all household and familial responsibilities, effectively, even while working. This includes cooking food, cleaning the house and completing all the chores.

  1. Family comes first for a ‘sanskari bahu’ ( daughter-in-law with a good upbringing) A woman must ensure that she performs well as a ‘bahu’ (daughter-in-law), even if it means that she cannot perform well professionally. Family should be her first priority and she should remember that her husband’s job is much more important than hers. This means that the woman needs to be present for all occasions and festivals, even if her husband has an important meeting to attend to.
  1. Women must stay away from certain professions and all male colleagues A woman’s profession and her colleagues need to be approved by family members before ‘allowing’ her to work. The woman is often asked to stay away from male colleagues and find a workplace with more women. Professions that involve travel or long hours are mostly rejected, such as that of an air hostess. Certain professions, such as that of a teacher, are considered more desirable because of the longer holidays and the good impression it creates in society.
  1. It is all a ‘woman’s job’

The husband does not need to help a woman in household chores at all, as it is not a ‘man’s job.’ Today, especially in the urban areas, husbands are becoming more supportive and helpful in the household work. However, the family does not really appreciate the husband having to pitch in for what is considered as the woman’s responsibility.

  1. No financial independence for a woman

Even if women earn, they do not have economic independence in the truest sense. While some families want women to work only due to the greed for double income,  some allow the woman to work on the basis that she should handover all her income to the in-laws. Should a woman refuse to pay up, the in-laws end up draining her income in indirect ways.

It must be noted that as per Married Women’s Property Act (MWP), all salary income that a woman generates and the ‘streedhan’ that she inherits from her parents, solely belongs to the woman. She is legally given the right to keep it all to herself, unless she chooses to hand it over.

What we are saying is really simple. Let’s close this huge gap between the real situation and the ideal situation. Let us all stand in support of what women empowerment really is i.e. respecting her choices and her rights in every way, while empowering her to do the same!

blog
Sep, 20, 2016 By admin Comments
So now with the celebrations behind and all settled into the new life, one question haunts new brides; what to do with their expensive wedding outfit? While you could wear it again at your sibling’s wedding but there is so much more you could do with your lehenga. Here’s five ways to make the best out of your wedding lehenga.
  • Use the choli as a blouse with a plain chiffon saree for an evening out.
  • Get a contrasting coloured crop top stitched with your skirt. Makes a perfect outfit for your friend’s mehendi.
  • The heavy dupatta can be used in a lot of ways. Team it up with a sharara for a day wedding.
  • Pair the skirt with a shirt to create some fusion drama.
  • Wear the skirt higher, with the choli, and turn it into an anarkali.
  • If you wish to recycle your outfit, the dupatta can we turned into a jacket, over a silk gown.
 

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